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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Sarah's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 17th, 2010
9:48 pm
ok, so what has happened in the last month?

Business is now operational, not yet sold anything admittedly.

Working three days a week at The Westgate and loving being around my crazy, disfunctional, adopted gay family.

Appointed treasurer of Gloucestershire Pride.

Sang in Gloucester Cathedral (will be available on BBC iplayer soon, will post details) which was a truly incredible experience. Thanks to those who came along to listen, it meant a lot.

Met someone, I'm keeping that one close for now but I promise to tell more if it goes well.

In a major step I told my support worker that I would no longer be seeing her.

I am madly busy but most days I fall into the 'content' bracket and other days fall into the 'happy' bracket. I still have down times but they are not protracted and pretty much always manageable.

If the various people whose job it is to sort out benefits would sort out my benefits I would be a lot better financially as well but that will just take time, it always does.
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
10:47 am
I have public and product liability insurance :o)

Now to buy all of my equipment and stock, move in, start making and see whether this is going to work. Oh and I'd like several extra hours in the day please.
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010
9:44 pm
something to cheer me up
Apparently two or more episodes of depression doubles your risk of dementia. Joy.

Friday, June 25th, 2010
6:55 pm
I decided to do my bit in the shared garden and do some weeding. While I was out there the robin that lives at the bottom of the garden hopped over to say hello and spent about five minutes nearby chattering away at me.

It then stopped, look exasperated, did what appeared to be the equivalent of shouting something at me and flew off.

I think I did something I shouldn't have done, or maybe didn't do something I should have done.

Does anyone speak robin?
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
4:18 pm
Random rant of the day

I have been much confused when trying to buy clothes as to the range of sizes that I need to try in order to find one piece of clothing that fits.

I currently have a 30-31 inch waist and am measuring up in several shops as a size 10. A 30 inch waist is officially a size 14 in the UK, I remember being a size 10 when I was a teenager weighing over a stone less than I currently do and with a 26 inch waist.

Having done some general trawling for information it appears that my hunch is correct and that vanity sizing of women's clothes has dropped the listed size (or increased the measurements) by a factor of 2 whole clothes sizes.

I should be measuring at a size 14 waist (and I do in a couple of shops) with size 12 bust and hips, not a size 10 all over.

Don't get me wrong, I am as prone to flattery as the next woman and love the fact that I can pick up a size 10 and find that it fits me. What annoys me is that this vanity sizing has resulted in everyone measuring everything differently and so standardised sizing has effectively been erradicated. The reason that this is a problem for me is that I despise clothes shopping unless it is for a special occassion, anything that increases the amount of time I have to spend having my eardrums assaulted by formulaic pop music or standing too close to a mirror (when else do you look at yourself from a distance of three feet, of course you look odd) in a terribly lit changing room is a bad thing.

There is also the danger (certainly in my case) of "I don't need to lose weight, I'm a size 10", actually I could still do with dropping a few pounds, not that I'm fat just that I could do with dropping a few pounds to get me back to what I consider to be my happy weight.

The other thing to come from this ... US sizes are two sizes smaller than UK, UK sizes have increased by two, the whole size zero debate? Most of the women who would measure up as a US size zero should measure up as a slim but healthy 8 in the UK.


Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
11:59 am


Article about how post natal depression in men is often not diagnosed.

There is a reason for this ... IT DOESN'T EXIST IN MEN.

I am not saying that men don't suffer from sleep deprivation, stress and all of the other things that go along with being a new parent but post natal depression is a specific condition resulting from hormone changes. Putting this out makes it seem like women are just tired and feeling a bit low whereas anyone who has suffered from or been around someone suffering from post natal depression will know that it is a wholly different animal.

This is the same as people who are having a hard time claiming that they have clinical depression. There is a huge chasm between being depressed and having depression. Not every bad mood or tough day is a medical condition that needs to be categorised and treated.

This type of watering down of serious mental health conditions causes them to lose credibility and spreads the massively stretched resources even more thinly and prevents those people who most need the help getting it or getting it in an amount that is actually useful on a meaningful and long term basis.

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
5:34 pm
for those of you who don't have facebook this is one of the things I get up to in my spare time


5:03 pm
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
4:54 pm
The withdrawal effects have come back, albeit in a reduced form. Nausea and muscle spasms again so I may not be well enough to go out singing tonight, I am getting really fed up with this.

Current Mood: frustrated
Friday, April 30th, 2010
10:13 am
After late night call to GP and tripling of anti-histamine dose the swelling is subsiding.
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
5:37 pm
oh ffs

I am no longer on Sertraline, apparently the allergic reaction I am having that is causing my throat to swell despite being on anti-histamines is a bad thing and I have to stop taking them.


12:35 pm
Having had to cancel all of my appointments/activities since Monday afternoon I refused to give in and went and got my hair cut this morning.

My poor hairdresser after spending ages with product and various hot electrical equipment for the drying and curling of hair finally announced that my hair was symmetrically curly enough for her to let me leave the salon (my hair is naturally much curlier on one side than the other). At which point it started raining and all of the artificial curls fell out. Every hairdresser I have ever had has eventually had to concede defeat with my hair and just cut it and leave it be. The hairdresser in Brighton who spent ages straightening my hair went away to get something and by the time he had come back it was starting to curl, on the third attempt he gave up.

So my hair is now shorter and asymmetrically curly.

But the point is that the nausea, sweating, nerve pain and lack of sleep didn't stop me.

Current Mood: accomplished
Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
10:39 am
but on the bright side
The muscle spasms have really started to tone my abs :o)

You have to see the funny side, although that could just be my brain being flooded with serotonin.

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
6:03 pm
I was going to delete that last post but I won't, mainly because I need a record of what happens when.

Suffice to say I screamed (silently - no point in upsetting the neighbours) for a bit, rocked and cried for a bit, slept for a while and somewhat (although not entirely) recovered something approaching eqilibrium.

Helped by the welcome news that getting my car through its MOT this year will only cost £200.
1:59 pm
Notice to the universe:


I have had enough.
Monday, April 19th, 2010
5:48 pm
The darkness is back, I can feel it lurking at the back of my mind ready to overwhelm me.

Deep breath.
2:35 pm
An open response
I recently received an offer of help from a somewhat unexpected source, I tried to reply privately but their privacy settings wouldn't allow it so I have decided on an open response.

under hereCollapse )
Thursday, April 8th, 2010
5:07 pm
and now crying
Balls, out of work for one week and left alone for three days and I fall to pieces.
2:56 pm
As a political person who believes in voting as a civic duty I have been starting to look at the various options open to me in my constituency.

I went to www.theyworkforyou.com and was very disappointed by what I found. My MP is an excellent constituency MP and a very nice bloke however having reviewed his voting record I cannot in conscience vote for him. He has voted strongly for all of the anti-terror legislation and the erosion of civil liberties that I consider to be the defining characteristic and horrific legacy of this government and not once has he voted against the whip. He has voted for all of the easy, vote winning, social legislation but hasn't made a stand on anything. So that leaves me with Conservative, Liberal Democrat, Green Party and English Democrat. Oh for a 'none of the above' box.

I had a look at the BBC news website which has a useful little swingometer on it that you can use to see what scale of swing would be needed to unseat your current MP, in Gloucester there would need to be a 6.5% swing direct from Labour to Conservative to unseat the MP. I'm not sure how likely this is and in that case it makes very little difference where I put my cross. The sooner we get rid of the first-past-the-post system the better.
1:19 pm
Bored already
I need a new job. I have been out of work for a week, my sleeping and eating patterns are already messed up and I'm  bored.

Having trawled various job sites I have come up with two jobs to apply for, one of which I remain unsure about on the basis of religion (they would like me to have some).

More worryingly I can already feel my mood deteriorating, there are a hundred jobs around the house I could be doing but I can't be bothered. This is a bad sign.
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